~the live journal3~

Kim Junsu's rapid rapping failure

Third story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Kim Junsu's rapid rapping failure
Pairing: ot7, Taecyeon/Jaebeom and a little Nichkhun/Junsu if you really look for it
Rating: NC-14ish
Summary: A little boy tells Junsu that he cannot rap properly and it stabs Junsu really, really bad. How far is he willing to go only to improve his rapping skills?
Genre: Comedy/Crack



03. Kim Junsu’s rapid rapping failure

Kim Jun Su never ever failed at singing. He was the lead singer for God’s sake! His voice was like an angels and nobody, and I mean nobody tried competing with him. Jun Su was also knows amongst his members as the one who has always hated hospitals. And that was a fact that was barely mentioned inside 2pm’s four walls until one important date. You see, that day 2pm was scheduled to keep a small concert in a children’s hospital for a charity cause. Jun Su couldn’t help but to feel nauseous that morning. He hated hospitals, no really, he detested them. They were just… just so white and claustrophobic. Oh, and he wanted to puke at the thought of them. But he had to endure it, for the sake of his band and all the sick children that were excitedly waiting for their arrival.

“Jun Su, are you okay?” the other Junbrother nudged the older boy that was sitting mortified inside the car staring at the oh-so-scary hospital for the past fifteen minutes.

“Sure.” He said trying to exit the car but falling flat on his ass right in front of it.

“Cool then.” Jun Ho shrugged his shoulders and run inside leaving Jun Su to overcome his fear of hospitals alone.

After the performance was over 2pm had a little fan gathering in one of the rooms inside the hospital. Jun Su felt uncomfortable and stood next to window that is until a little girl called his name.

“Jun Su Oppa~” she patted her bed showing Jun Su that she obviously wanted him to sit next to her. Jun Su obeyed.

“Oppa, would you sing a song for my little brother? He is your biggest fan, really but he’s too shy too ask himself.” The girl continued hugging slightly younger boy that stood beside her bed.

“Sure. Which song would you like your hyung to sing little man?” he asked turning to look at the little boy instead. The boy smiled as Jun Su ruffled his hair.

“Hyung, please sing ‘Because I’m a man’.” The youngster clapped his hands.

Even though Junsu didn’t feel like singing right now since he was exhausted to say the least. But come on, one song would hurt nobody, wouldn’t it? Jun Su took a deep breath before starting to sing.

“왜 이렇게 힘이든지 (why is it hard)
숨이막히네 답답함이 혀끝까지 차오르네 (Can't breathe, suffocating, comes to the tip of my tongue)
눈물마저 마르네 (Tears dry)
울고 불고 매달려봤자 헛수고 (To cry and hang on, the useless efforts to sleep)
널 다시 찾으려고 다시 꾹꾹참고 (To find you again, I hung on)
내외로운 날들은 한편의 드라마 (Lonely days inside, an episode of a drama)
내 아픈 내 이야기는 제발 더 이상 묻지마 (Don't ask anymore about my painful story)
이제 확실히 내맘을 보여줄테니 (Now I will surely show you my heart)”

The boy’s eyes started tearing and Jun Su smiled to himself in satisfaction thinking how he made one sick kid happy.

“넌 내게로 가까이 긴 말 필요없이 (You with me close by, don't need long sentences)
그래도 남자니까 너를 사랑할께 ( because I'm a man I will love you)
그래도 남자니까 너를 기다릴께 ( because I'm a man I will wait for you)”

But the smile on his face broke in a flash.

“OWHAAAAA!! MAKE HIM STOP, MAKE HIM STOP! HE CAN’T RAP! PABO HYUNG, PABO!” the boy threw some toy that was lying on his bed at Jun Su causing the singer to lose his balance and fall backwards crushing into Nich Khun who sat quietly in a chair. Thank God Nich Khun was there to soften his fall, Jun Su thought before he really examined the current situation. Him squashing Nich Khun was not a good thing after all. The other man who caught him leaned back into the chair that was too weak to carry support both their weights which made the chair break and send them stumbling on the floor, in process hitting Jae Beom and making him to crash against one of the nightstands, breaking a crystal vase as he did so.

“Out, now!! All of you, out!” angry doctor yelled in unison with their, even angrier manager.

Jun Su was angry, not about breaking the vase or hurting Nich Khun’s butt but ‘cause of the fact that the boy hated his rapping solo. His biggest fan hated it. For crying out loud, what had he done wrong? True, this wasn’t one of his best performances but was it really that bad that the boy had to throw a freaking Mickey Mouse at his face. He frowned and all of his band members failed to notice how distressed he was. They were singing, playing leaving out poor Jun Su with his broken hopes and dreams. Sniff.

That night, after he finished his shower Jun Su found himself standing in front of the mirror, glaring at his reflection as he encouraged himself to rap some more.

“Fuckhiaus Mickey Mouse, I can do this!” he chanted.

Using his deodorant as a microphone he started rapping first few lines of Big Bang’s ‘Haru Haru’. He started dancing around quite satisfied with himself re-gaining some of his self-esteem.

“Stop that pig call and get out of our precious bathroom!” Chan Sung banged on the door, heavily. A bang surprised Jun Su so much that his dropped the ring that he was holding in one of his hands in the toilet.

“Shit!” he yelped trying to get it out with all his might.

“There’s still six of us who need to take a shower, you know?!” a very hungry magnae, Jun Su’s guessing yelled. He gave up on the ring, at least until Chan Sung had taken a shower.

“Am I really that bad?” he asked no one in particular sending one last look at a sad person inside the mirror.

“Yes you are! Now get out so I can be as bad as you are and use all the hot water before those crazy cooks we call our band mates that won’t give me anything to eat, turn up for shower.”

Next day Taec Yeon promised to teach him how to rap through simple rap lessons. Jun Su was waiting (im)patiently for Taec Yeon in the living room when he heard an excited scream coming from bathroom which Taek had left for half an hour ago.

“Guys, guys!! Come quick! You have to see this! I just pooped gold!” Taec Yeon jumped around the bathroom and all the members that have rushed to him looked at him like he was dumb. Like really dumb.

“Don’t you fucking shit with me or I’ll- Oh, you really have pooped a golden ring. Please Taek, do shit. Shit as much as you want.” Jae Beom the naïve gold digger assured his boyfriend wide eyed.

“That’s my ring! I dropped it yesterday while uhhmm… shaving!” Jun Su cried.

“Oh, spare me.” Jay told him, “You just want my gold. You’re more than welcome to find yourself a golden man but leave my gold mine, uh, I mean man to me, understood?!” the leadja has officially lost it.

Just Jun Su’s luck, you could say. While practicing his rap with Taec Yeon, out of nowhere their leader came into the room demanding some quality time with his giant. He just wants the gold; Jun Su was sure about that. Okay, so the little pink man thought of a way to send Jun Su away from them.

“Hey Jun Su, you know why you suck at this rapping thing?” Jae Beom called sneakily from Taek’s bunk making the poor crushed singer to look at him, confused.

“Because you’re a kastrator!” Jay exclaimed using the wrong grammar and saying kastrator instead of castrato, while laughing.

“And that’s why your voice isn’t manly enough! And thanks to your kastrator khhm… ‘thingy’ it will never be!” their leader enjoyed this too much.

“Park Jae Beom, I’m sooo gonna castrate you while you’re sleeping tonight. I swear on my sister’s imaginary friend’s crown!” Jun Su growled loudly at Jay who continued smirking finding it safe to hide behind his much bigger, masculine boyfriend.

“The hell, man?” Taec Yeon asked bewildered.

“What?! Well she just happens to be a princess.” Jun Su stated before marching out of the room.

At night he tried rapping alone in the kitchen not wanting to disturb the sleeping beasts. He whisper-rapped and it seemed like his voice had a mind of its own. It just wouldn’t listen, so he tried doing it louder when his phone started ringing. After hearing his ring tone that was probably set by the Thai prince who played on his phone this morning. It was a fucking ‘Falling for the first time’ by Barenaked ladies. Falling for the first time, huh?, Jun Su thought, Damn you, Horvejkul Nich Khun, you’ll pay for this. But the ring was so irritating that the male threw it at the cell phone at the pile of clothes that was lying in the corner.

“Whoa!” Jun Su exclaimed when he saw the clothing pile has started moving.

“Who the? What the? How the?” Chan Sung’s sleeping form peeked from underneath the clothes.

“Chan Sung?!?” Jun Su screamed as the pile started moving again. Shit, he thought, it could be a ghost, an alien or even worse MY GRANDMA!

“Nana, is that you?” Jun Su asked unsure of what to do before angry Jun Ho sat up, revealing himself and glaring at the older junbrother.

“Jun Su would you please- SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP?!” Jun Ho exploded. And Junsu did as he was told and ran for his life.

In the next few days Jun Su tried everything in order to rap better. So not one 2pm member found it weird when he appeared at their house wearing the clothes that rappers would usually wear.

“Yo, yo, yo!” he announced entering the apartment. Woo Young who turned towards him asked surprised, “Hyung, did you buy a yoyo or do you have something stuck in the back of your throat?”

Jun Su sighed miserably and sulked all the way to his bedroom.

2pm members accepted to have Jun Su rap one song for them so they would stop this madness.

They were all seated on the couch and Jun Su stood in front of them.

“I think I finally got this song.” He said confident and started singing, rapping that is. 2pm members stared amazed, their eyes so big as if they were going to fall off any second. He had really improved, they all thought. He was already halfway throughout the song when his voice suddenly cracked and sent his band members into the fits of laughter. He tired again and again but ended up sounding like an old man with a bad asthma attack. Oh, fuck it! Fuck it all! Due to forcing himself to sing too much these days, he earned a sore throat and he wasn’t able to speak for a week. Seems that solo practices, egg drinking rituals and those freezing hours spent under the cold shower rapping haven’t paid off after all.

That’s how Jun Su decided to stick to his ballad songs