~the live journal5~

Hwang Chansung's night of the living bananas

Fifth story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Hwang Chansung's night of the living bananas
Pairing: ot7, Taecyeon/Jaebeom , slight Junsu/Junho
Rating: NC-16
Summary: Chansung's food takes a revenge on him.
Genre: Comedy/Crack

05. Hwang Chansung’s night of the living bananas

Chan Sung was an eater. And he was known for that throughout all Korea and further. He enjoyed stuffing himself with dried mangos, bananas, kimichi, chicken… well actually with everything. But mostly bananas since they were his favorite.

Chan Sung never cared about gaining weight or getting pimples from too much chocolate. He loved eating and he decided to listen only to himself when it comes to his favorite subject – food. He never really appreciated his meals either. He just started to feast on them as if they didn’t take a lot of his hyungs effort to make. He was a pig.

Chan Sung’s mother has always been telling him not to eat too much before going to bed for the sake of his metabolism. Apparently with eating this late at night is putting a lot of pressure on your body before going to bed and it makes it harder to decompose the ingredients. Even his hyungs had told him to ease on the food, for goodness sake! And although they kept nagging him about it, he still refused to listen.

Chan Sung woke up that morning feeling refreshed. He giggled to himself when he spotted Woo Young still sleeping soundly on the floor. Then an idea hit him. He put Woo Young’s thumb in his mouth grinning evilly. Then he tiptoed to Nich Khun’s room where his stuff was. He took his camera carefully not to wake the Thai prince up since he would surely stop him in his intention. After returning to the livingroom he whispered ‘black mail’ while snapping an embarrassing picture of his hyung. Oh, how he was glad that his mother had bought him this old Polaroid camera for his birthday. Once he had the picture in his hands he hid it (carefully when no one was looking) into his secret album with all of the other embarrassing pictures of every one of his hyungs. His nostrils spread as he smelled food. Throwing the album behind the washing machine he rushed into the kitchen only to find Jun Ho making breakfast while other junbrother was reading some book sipping his morning coffee in process. Jun Ho put an egg and bacon on the plate placing it on the table in front of Jun Su mumbling an ‘I made this especially for you hyung’ and blushing when he received a ‘thanks’ in return.

“Chan Sung would you like something to e- ?!!?!” before Jun Ho even finished the question, Chan Sung had already eaten half of Jun Su’s breakfast much to older boys disapproval. Jun Su opened his mouth to say something but Jun Ho beat him to it.

“Chan Sung, I am going to kill you!!” Jun Ho jumped on the magnae and Jun Su put a lot of effort to pull the baby off Chan Sung.

“Chan Sung you better run ‘because Jun Ho’s holding a knife.” Jun Su reasoned. And Chan Sung did. All the way to leader’s room that he now shared with the other giant. His plan was to steal Taec Yeon’s dried mangos since he was banned from the kitchen, at least until Jun Ho calmed down.

As he got closer he pressed his ear to the door unnecessarily only to be met with moans which turned to screaming. When Chan Sung was sure that Jae Beom and Taec Yeon were too mesmerized into their morning sex to notice him he silently opened the door. He sneaked inside and his eyes went wide. What he saw was unexplainable; there was no reasonable explanation for it. Two giant bananas, freaking living cannibal bananas were feasting on his favorite hyungs. He tried rubbing his eyes but the things were still standing at the same spot above Jay’s and Taek’s shared bed with human body pieces hanging from their big sickeningly yellow mouth. He started backing away but stepped onto some old plank on the floor which made a loud creaking sound bringing him their attention.

“Are you Chan Sung?” one of the bananas asked getting closer to the boy blood dripping down its yellow crust.

“Y-y-y- yes.” Chan answered taking a step back preparing to run.

“So you are the beast that ate my daughter? Oh, my precious little Nana, she would have turned two today.” The other banana spoke letting go of Jae Beom’s body making it fall to Taec Yeon’s ungracefully. As the other banana also started moving towards him, Chan Sung took it as a sign to run. He ran into the kitchen tripping occasionally like he would be if starring in a horror film. He grabbed the knife and just then noticed that the living bananas where nowhere in sight. He started searching the apartment for the rest of his undead hyungs but found no one. Walking in circles nervously while trying to think this through, he noticed a little note stuck to Nich Khun’s door. He rushed over in a few and took it off. It read:

Hwang Chan Sung, get inside the room.

I want you to play a game with me.

Banana-saw.

The magnae pushed the door open forcefully finding himself face to face with their TV. There was a little note just like the one before stuck on the video recorder on the shelf.

Play the tape that’s inside, you banana killer.

The giant obeyed. It was a video of Chan Sung’s yesterday’s snack – he was eating chips, ice-cream and… a banana. He widened his eyes. Was that the daughter they were telling him about?

“That’s right!” the tape got cut off and banana with the weirdest clown mask appeared on the TV. “That was my daughter and you were careless enough to kill her. Now, you are going to experience how it is to lose a member of your family.”

Chan Sung’s face fell at the sight in front of him. His four missing hyungs were all tied to some kind of crazy machines and they were all blindfolded.

“What do you want from me?” Chan Sung’s yell surprised the banana on the screen.

“Revenge.” It said and continued, “See you can only save one of your hyungs from a horrible death as stated in the movie ‘Saw’.”

“Which movie?” Chan Sung asked not really knowing what the film was about.

“You never heard of ‘Saw’?” banana asked bewildered.

“Nope.” Chan answered.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He assured.

“How many percent?” banana persisted.

“Hundred percent dude. I’m telling you I never saw ‘Saw’!” he growled irritated but then giggled stupidly at himself, “Hehe, I never saw-saw.”

“Aish.” Banana sighed holding her head. “Okay then, you can save two of your hyungs.”

“The rules are simple. See these machines. Each one of them will cause a traumatic death but in different ways. Now you just have to choose which of your hyungs survive by deciding between banana and mango. The choice is yours.” Banana laughed villain style.

“You stole my mango?” Chan Sung’s brows furrowed.

“Your whole stash of dried mangos to be exact.” Banana answered but what she didn’t know was that nobody, and I mean nobody (or in this case nothing) touches Chan Sung’s food. Not even mutant bananas.

Chan observed the screen for a couple of seconds before realizing that banana’s actual hideout was Jun Su’s room. He dashed to the room knocking the door down in process of coming inside. There he found the stupid banana and the clown (jigsaw) banana emptying his last bag of dried mangos. He wondered when had his favorite food become his worst enemy. This is where he drew the line. They. Did. Not. Just. Eat. His. Mangos.

“You are dead!! Dead, I tell ya!!” he jumped one banana biting its head of, literarily. But he forgot about the other mutant behind his back. Seeing the headless banana lying on the floor dead, the other banana bit Chan Sung hard ripping the flesh off his back. He could feel the poison rushing through his paralyzed body before his lifeless body hit the floor.

“ANIOOOO!!!!!!!!” magnae woke up from his nightmare on his living room floor safe and sound. After he kissed the floor thanking God he was home in real world he took a shower. Then he decided to take an embarrassing picture of Woo Young sleeping sucking on his thumb and placed the picture inside his album along with the others. He ran inside the kitchen finding junbrothers inside.

“Chan Sung would you like something to e- ?!!?!?” Jun Ho asked making Chan Sung’s mouth to open and the contents of Jun Su’s breakfast to fall from his mouth. That was the time when Chan Sung realized that his dream was coming true. He was re-living the day he’ll die.

His eyes still wide he got back to the living room looking around not wanting to face the deadly mutant bananas yet.

“Shit, no.” he cried falling to his knees. He didn’t want to re-live that nightmare. No, no way. He lied back on the floor where he usually slept and threw a blanked over his head. He pinched himself numerous times praying for this to be a dream and not some crazy twisted real life horror.

“Wake up Chan Sung, wake up. It’s only a bad dream.” He felt someone shaking him as he repeated his words of comfort. Chan Sung finally decided to peek from his hiding place only to find the scary cannibal banana standing in front of him.

“Good morning sunshine.” The living banana spoke, “Are you hungry? ‘Cause we’re having you for breakfast.” It laughed evilly at Chan Sung’s pale face.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Looks like boys finally had finally found a way to stop Chan Sung from eating all of their food. The idea struck them when they heard Chan Sung mumbling something about living cannibal bananas walking around the apartment in his sleep.

“I think he learned his lesson guys.” Taec Yeon said taking off his banana costume.

“Oh come on, Taek, scare him some more. For me. Please~” Jae Beom begged his boyfriend.

“Nuh-uh. He’s already hiding inside the closet shivering and screaming ‘stupid bananas just leave me alone’. I think that if we tortured him some more he could end up leaving the band for mental institution. And what do you think people will say about us if he starts going around the company saying ‘I see living bananas’, huh?”

“True.” Jay said facing the door of Chan Sung’s and Nich Khun’s room, “Hey Chan, want to eat bananas with us?” he shouted.

“GO AWAY YOU STUPID BANANA!! I KNOW YOU ATE MY HYUNG AND YOU STOLE HIS VOICE! GO AWAY, AND LEAVE ME TO DIE HUNGRY!!”

“Well at least he won’t invade the kitchen for the next few days.” Nich Khun shrugged turning away.

Chan Sung’s mother has always been telling him not to eat too much before going to bed. Even his hyungs had told him to ease on the food but he never listened. And now he was shitting himself inside the closet covering his ears praying not to be eaten by some kind of alive banana mutant.