~the live journal 2~

Ok Taecyeon's bedtime/ghost story gone bad

Second story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Ok Taecyeon's bedtime/ghost story gone bad
Pairing: Taecyeon/Jaebeom
Rating: NC-13ish
Summary: Taecyeon wants to have some rest after a long day but his roommates are being too noisy and annoying so he tells them a ghost story. But story takes a worng turn.
Genre: Comedy/Crack

02. Ok Taecyeon’s bedtime/ghost story gone bad

All Taec Yeon wanted that after a long day and rough schedule was to get some rest but living with a bunch of whiny and hungry dongsaengs and loud hyperactive hyungs that was not possible. He tossed and turned around his bed trying to find a comfortable position and block out the sounds of the boys screaming and quarrelling over play station 3.

“Aish…” he mumbled hiding his head under the pillow. There was a silence. All the noises disappeared and all the sounds vanished. And then…

CRUSH.

Jae Beom rushed over at the top of his speed and jumped hard on top of Taec Yeon. Then Jun Ho, Jun Su and all of the 2pm members squashed the poor giant. They sat on top of him that is until Taec Yeon let out a painful cry.

“Why, why can’t you leave me alone for just two seconds? Wasn’t play station enough fun for you?” Taec Yeon tried desperately as he felt a weight on his back getting lighter.

“But hyung, we were bored.” Woo Young’s teary eyes stared at the older boy.

“And we just wanted you to play with us.” Jun Ho whined much like a three year old would.

“Taekkie, don’t you hate us for wanting to spent time with you.” Jae Beom evilly joined the pouting parade. Taec Yeon sighed, frustrated. He then remembered the time when he locked himself in their shared bathroom searching for some piece and quiet which only resulted with Chan Sung crushing down the door (his excuse was that that they thought Taek had drowned while taking a shower) and the boys seeing him taking a poop, naked. This night is going to be a disaster, Taec Yeon thought.

“Okay guys, what if I tell you my special bedtime story, will you let me sleep then?” Taec Yeon smirked to himself while the other six members exchanged looks.

“Sureeee.” Said Chan Sung but Taec Yeon knew that it was unreliable when coming from magnae’s mouth.

Ten minutes later they were all seated on the floor in the living room much like school girls who are having a slumber party. Nich Khun brought the popcorn and now they were all set.

“Wait!” Taec Yeon said. “Let me turn off the light first. I have a special ghost story for you.” He quickly turned off the light and returned to his original position.

Out of nowhere Taek switched on the flashlight bringing it close to his face as to make atmosphere tenser.

“It was a cold Halloween night. The rain was pouring on Seoul. The streets were filled with dirt but nobody seemed to care. It was crowded even though the darkness already swallowed the whole city. And one man, one man didn’t belong in that crowd of masked strangers. One man was different. He unlike everybody else carried a real blood covered knife in his hand. He turned into a dark valley. He had a goal – he had to reach JYP Entertainment building as fast as possible. As a dark silhouette approached JYP, seven boys, oblivious to outsides happening were still practicing their dance steps – the beastly idols 2pm.”

At this point of the story everybody’s mouth was hanging wide open and Taec Yeon’s headache was almost gone ‘cause of the fact that he finally found a way to shut them all up.

“The man looked at the window, to the only room with the light still on. He smiled evilly to himself. He started to move slowly, carefully towards the back entrance but was seen by one person on their way out.” Taek was cut by Jae Beom who was trying to hold his laughter.

“Kkkkkk!” Jay clasped a hand over his mouth.

“What’s so funny hyung?” Jun Su leaned over so Jay could whisper in his ear. A minute later Jun Su was thrown into a fit of giggles.

“Care to share it with the rest of the group?” Nich Khun asked.

Just then Jae Beom turned to face Taec Yeon and then laughed in his boyfriend’s face. “Mianhae Taek, but your ears look so funny and big from here. And under the flashlight they’re even glowing. You kinda remind me of a glowing monkey.”

“Ha-ha, very mature Jay.” Taec Yeon responded turning to Jun Ho for back up but ending up disappointed when younger man’s remark came.

“Well you do kinda resemble him.” Jun Ho confessed and Taec Yeon groaned in frustration.

“Moving on.”

“He growled dangerously before throwing himself at the newfound victim. He cut the man’s neck leaving him to bleed out on a cold stinky floor and be later eaten by rats. He got to the door just when lightning stroke. He sneaked inside and moved unnoticed until he got to- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Taec Yeon screamed after Woo Young crushed their lamp that was standing by the couch. He might have as well had a heart attack, he thought. But unfortunately for Taek, he wasn’t that lucky. So shitting his pants because of fallen lamp wouldn’t help and nor would heart attack. He was stuck with this bunch of lunatics for tonight (and eternity).

“‘Guys, I’m going to the rest room.’ A voice of a dark haired idol called. ‘I’ll be right back.’ He said leaving the practice room. He walked through the dark corridor until he reached male bathroom. Entering, he tried to switch on the light but the switcher just wouldn’t budge. It must be broken, he thought to himself as he walked over to the sink to freshen himself up. But there was one thing or rather one person that he didn’t notice. From inside the last cubicle there was someone watching him, ready to take away his life-”

“Can you kill Seul Ong in this story for me?” Chan Sung asked out of the blue. He laid on the floor on his stomach, both hands under his head. Six pairs of eyes looked at him as thought he was some kind of crazy-killer-maniac dude.

“He owes me money.” He explained casually clenching his fists at the thought of Seul Ong.

Nich Khun rolled his eyes and assured Taec Yeon to go on whit his unbelievably boring story.

“Okay, where were we?” Oh yeah! Ready to take away his life.”

“Why is there no more popcorn?” Jun Su interrupted.

“Jun Ho stop stuffing your face with those things and give me some!” he yelled at the younger junbrother desperate to eat those precious popcorns.

“Lets see.” Taek continued “The man from the shadow started inching closer and closer to the boy. And then-” he got cut off once again, this time by Nich Khun.

“This is getting boring.” Thai winking machine commented.

“Let’s play ‘Finish the story’. The rules are simple: when you get bored of the story that one’s been telling you say it and then it’s your turn to continue from the point where it left off. Get it?” Chan Sung suggested. Everybody nodded.

“Okay! My turn! My turn!” Jay threw his hand in the air just so he could be the next narrator and for a second he looked like a geek who wanted badly to answer the teacher’s question.

So Jae Beom began talking.

“The boy that left for bathroom appeared to be Seul Ong. Then a dentist-tooth fairy Taek who killed a passenger before showed up and said to Seul Ong, ‘Hiya matey, see my friend Chan wanted me to kill you but sadly I don’t own that kind of power so I’ll just have to pull your teeth out one by one. Slowly and painfully.’ The fairy grinned evilly while swinging his giant magic wand in front of boy’s terrified face.’” As leadja finished his part all boys were rolling on the floor laughing their heads of and Taec Yeon pulled at his hair whishing this torture to end.

“Oh-uh hyung, you forgot to mention fluffy pink tutus that fairies usually wear.” Jun Ho jumped on his sit still keeping the popcorn out of Jun Su’s reach.

“Sorry Ho but now I’m telling the story!” Woo Young announced making TaecYeon bang his tired head in the wall repeatedly.

“Dentist-tooth fairy Taec Yeon was a prince from a magical kingdom Ame-Rica and therefore he had his little helper to do his hair while flying. Dwarf Jae Beom would sit on Taek’s back and- no, hyung, no!” Woo Young shouted before Jae Beom’s Barbie pillow came in contact with his face.

“I thought you lot were on my side!!” he yelled at the laughing boys. Taec Yeon wanted to die right now. Grumpy Jay was never in mood for night activities so Taek’s last hopes went down the drain when Chan Sung stuck his tongue out at the pink shorty and when Jay launched himself at the magnae hitting him with a not-so-soft pillow. Soon the others joined in for a group pillow fight so they were unable to hear the door bell. Taec Yeon got up, dizzy and headed to the other end of the apartment where the front door was.Poor tall teenager opened the door revealing their old neighbor in her nightgown glaring at him.

“Young man, care to explain yourself? Why are you making so much noise when it’s past twelve am? My Shin Yong can’t sleep because of you and Mrs. Kim from 732 already threatened to call the police if you won’t behave.” Old lady Min from apartment next to theirs complained.

“Sorry madam. It won’t happen again.” Taec Yeon bowed mumbling ‘that’s enough’. He frowned but then it hit him - the most wonderful idea. He came up with such an impenetrable plan, purely brilliant if he may say so himself.

“Guys hurry! Come and see what tooth fairy got you!” Taek yelled from outside the apartment. In a matter of seconds all of the boys stumbled one over another in the hall.

“Look a unicorn!” Taek pointed towards the elevator making them all look towards the elevator. That was his opportunity to escape. He ran back inside the apartment, locking the doors behind him. He slammed his back against the door once they were closed and smiled a triumphal smile.

“Phhew,” he wiped the sweat fro his forehead. “Thank Jaysus they’re so stupid.”

He went back to bed, put the earphones in and let the music blast from his mp3 player. The giant hugged his pillow close and drifted off to his dream land where there were no crazy band mates who were now freezing outside in only their pajamas and banging on the front door begging for Taek to let them in. No, in his world everything was perfect and peaceful and quiet.

“He’s gonna pay for this. I tell ya.” Jae Beom promised to his fellow band members. Then turning around he slammed his fist on the wooden door screaming in process.

“No sex for month Ok TaecYeon! I said no S. E. X.! NO SEX! FOR A MONTH!” was the threat that woke Taec Yeon from his dream la-la land.

That night Taec Yeon decided to risk his sleep for sex with his short-tempered boyfriend. Jae Beom, sex and Jay’s love were the most important things in Taek’s life. Maybe that’s the reason his plans never actually worked.

~the live journal3~

Kim Junsu's rapid rapping failure

Third story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Kim Junsu's rapid rapping failure
Pairing: ot7, Taecyeon/Jaebeom and a little Nichkhun/Junsu if you really look for it
Rating: NC-14ish
Summary: A little boy tells Junsu that he cannot rap properly and it stabs Junsu really, really bad. How far is he willing to go only to improve his rapping skills?
Genre: Comedy/Crack



03. Kim Junsu’s rapid rapping failure

Kim Jun Su never ever failed at singing. He was the lead singer for God’s sake! His voice was like an angels and nobody, and I mean nobody tried competing with him. Jun Su was also knows amongst his members as the one who has always hated hospitals. And that was a fact that was barely mentioned inside 2pm’s four walls until one important date. You see, that day 2pm was scheduled to keep a small concert in a children’s hospital for a charity cause. Jun Su couldn’t help but to feel nauseous that morning. He hated hospitals, no really, he detested them. They were just… just so white and claustrophobic. Oh, and he wanted to puke at the thought of them. But he had to endure it, for the sake of his band and all the sick children that were excitedly waiting for their arrival.

“Jun Su, are you okay?” the other Junbrother nudged the older boy that was sitting mortified inside the car staring at the oh-so-scary hospital for the past fifteen minutes.

“Sure.” He said trying to exit the car but falling flat on his ass right in front of it.

“Cool then.” Jun Ho shrugged his shoulders and run inside leaving Jun Su to overcome his fear of hospitals alone.

After the performance was over 2pm had a little fan gathering in one of the rooms inside the hospital. Jun Su felt uncomfortable and stood next to window that is until a little girl called his name.

“Jun Su Oppa~” she patted her bed showing Jun Su that she obviously wanted him to sit next to her. Jun Su obeyed.

“Oppa, would you sing a song for my little brother? He is your biggest fan, really but he’s too shy too ask himself.” The girl continued hugging slightly younger boy that stood beside her bed.

“Sure. Which song would you like your hyung to sing little man?” he asked turning to look at the little boy instead. The boy smiled as Jun Su ruffled his hair.

“Hyung, please sing ‘Because I’m a man’.” The youngster clapped his hands.

Even though Junsu didn’t feel like singing right now since he was exhausted to say the least. But come on, one song would hurt nobody, wouldn’t it? Jun Su took a deep breath before starting to sing.

“왜 이렇게 힘이든지 (why is it hard)
숨이막히네 답답함이 혀끝까지 차오르네 (Can't breathe, suffocating, comes to the tip of my tongue)
눈물마저 마르네 (Tears dry)
울고 불고 매달려봤자 헛수고 (To cry and hang on, the useless efforts to sleep)
널 다시 찾으려고 다시 꾹꾹참고 (To find you again, I hung on)
내외로운 날들은 한편의 드라마 (Lonely days inside, an episode of a drama)
내 아픈 내 이야기는 제발 더 이상 묻지마 (Don't ask anymore about my painful story)
이제 확실히 내맘을 보여줄테니 (Now I will surely show you my heart)”

The boy’s eyes started tearing and Jun Su smiled to himself in satisfaction thinking how he made one sick kid happy.

“넌 내게로 가까이 긴 말 필요없이 (You with me close by, don't need long sentences)
그래도 남자니까 너를 사랑할께 ( because I'm a man I will love you)
그래도 남자니까 너를 기다릴께 ( because I'm a man I will wait for you)”

But the smile on his face broke in a flash.

“OWHAAAAA!! MAKE HIM STOP, MAKE HIM STOP! HE CAN’T RAP! PABO HYUNG, PABO!” the boy threw some toy that was lying on his bed at Jun Su causing the singer to lose his balance and fall backwards crushing into Nich Khun who sat quietly in a chair. Thank God Nich Khun was there to soften his fall, Jun Su thought before he really examined the current situation. Him squashing Nich Khun was not a good thing after all. The other man who caught him leaned back into the chair that was too weak to carry support both their weights which made the chair break and send them stumbling on the floor, in process hitting Jae Beom and making him to crash against one of the nightstands, breaking a crystal vase as he did so.

“Out, now!! All of you, out!” angry doctor yelled in unison with their, even angrier manager.

Jun Su was angry, not about breaking the vase or hurting Nich Khun’s butt but ‘cause of the fact that the boy hated his rapping solo. His biggest fan hated it. For crying out loud, what had he done wrong? True, this wasn’t one of his best performances but was it really that bad that the boy had to throw a freaking Mickey Mouse at his face. He frowned and all of his band members failed to notice how distressed he was. They were singing, playing leaving out poor Jun Su with his broken hopes and dreams. Sniff.

That night, after he finished his shower Jun Su found himself standing in front of the mirror, glaring at his reflection as he encouraged himself to rap some more.

“Fuckhiaus Mickey Mouse, I can do this!” he chanted.

Using his deodorant as a microphone he started rapping first few lines of Big Bang’s ‘Haru Haru’. He started dancing around quite satisfied with himself re-gaining some of his self-esteem.

“Stop that pig call and get out of our precious bathroom!” Chan Sung banged on the door, heavily. A bang surprised Jun Su so much that his dropped the ring that he was holding in one of his hands in the toilet.

“Shit!” he yelped trying to get it out with all his might.

“There’s still six of us who need to take a shower, you know?!” a very hungry magnae, Jun Su’s guessing yelled. He gave up on the ring, at least until Chan Sung had taken a shower.

“Am I really that bad?” he asked no one in particular sending one last look at a sad person inside the mirror.

“Yes you are! Now get out so I can be as bad as you are and use all the hot water before those crazy cooks we call our band mates that won’t give me anything to eat, turn up for shower.”

Next day Taec Yeon promised to teach him how to rap through simple rap lessons. Jun Su was waiting (im)patiently for Taec Yeon in the living room when he heard an excited scream coming from bathroom which Taek had left for half an hour ago.

“Guys, guys!! Come quick! You have to see this! I just pooped gold!” Taec Yeon jumped around the bathroom and all the members that have rushed to him looked at him like he was dumb. Like really dumb.

“Don’t you fucking shit with me or I’ll- Oh, you really have pooped a golden ring. Please Taek, do shit. Shit as much as you want.” Jae Beom the naïve gold digger assured his boyfriend wide eyed.

“That’s my ring! I dropped it yesterday while uhhmm… shaving!” Jun Su cried.

“Oh, spare me.” Jay told him, “You just want my gold. You’re more than welcome to find yourself a golden man but leave my gold mine, uh, I mean man to me, understood?!” the leadja has officially lost it.

Just Jun Su’s luck, you could say. While practicing his rap with Taec Yeon, out of nowhere their leader came into the room demanding some quality time with his giant. He just wants the gold; Jun Su was sure about that. Okay, so the little pink man thought of a way to send Jun Su away from them.

“Hey Jun Su, you know why you suck at this rapping thing?” Jae Beom called sneakily from Taek’s bunk making the poor crushed singer to look at him, confused.

“Because you’re a kastrator!” Jay exclaimed using the wrong grammar and saying kastrator instead of castrato, while laughing.

“And that’s why your voice isn’t manly enough! And thanks to your kastrator khhm… ‘thingy’ it will never be!” their leader enjoyed this too much.

“Park Jae Beom, I’m sooo gonna castrate you while you’re sleeping tonight. I swear on my sister’s imaginary friend’s crown!” Jun Su growled loudly at Jay who continued smirking finding it safe to hide behind his much bigger, masculine boyfriend.

“The hell, man?” Taec Yeon asked bewildered.

“What?! Well she just happens to be a princess.” Jun Su stated before marching out of the room.

At night he tried rapping alone in the kitchen not wanting to disturb the sleeping beasts. He whisper-rapped and it seemed like his voice had a mind of its own. It just wouldn’t listen, so he tried doing it louder when his phone started ringing. After hearing his ring tone that was probably set by the Thai prince who played on his phone this morning. It was a fucking ‘Falling for the first time’ by Barenaked ladies. Falling for the first time, huh?, Jun Su thought, Damn you, Horvejkul Nich Khun, you’ll pay for this. But the ring was so irritating that the male threw it at the cell phone at the pile of clothes that was lying in the corner.

“Whoa!” Jun Su exclaimed when he saw the clothing pile has started moving.

“Who the? What the? How the?” Chan Sung’s sleeping form peeked from underneath the clothes.

“Chan Sung?!?” Jun Su screamed as the pile started moving again. Shit, he thought, it could be a ghost, an alien or even worse MY GRANDMA!

“Nana, is that you?” Jun Su asked unsure of what to do before angry Jun Ho sat up, revealing himself and glaring at the older junbrother.

“Jun Su would you please- SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO SLEEP?!” Jun Ho exploded. And Junsu did as he was told and ran for his life.

In the next few days Jun Su tried everything in order to rap better. So not one 2pm member found it weird when he appeared at their house wearing the clothes that rappers would usually wear.

“Yo, yo, yo!” he announced entering the apartment. Woo Young who turned towards him asked surprised, “Hyung, did you buy a yoyo or do you have something stuck in the back of your throat?”

Jun Su sighed miserably and sulked all the way to his bedroom.

2pm members accepted to have Jun Su rap one song for them so they would stop this madness.

They were all seated on the couch and Jun Su stood in front of them.

“I think I finally got this song.” He said confident and started singing, rapping that is. 2pm members stared amazed, their eyes so big as if they were going to fall off any second. He had really improved, they all thought. He was already halfway throughout the song when his voice suddenly cracked and sent his band members into the fits of laughter. He tired again and again but ended up sounding like an old man with a bad asthma attack. Oh, fuck it! Fuck it all! Due to forcing himself to sing too much these days, he earned a sore throat and he wasn’t able to speak for a week. Seems that solo practices, egg drinking rituals and those freezing hours spent under the cold shower rapping haven’t paid off after all.

That’s how Jun Su decided to stick to his ballad songs

~the live journal5~

Hwang Chansung's night of the living bananas

Fifth story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Hwang Chansung's night of the living bananas
Pairing: ot7, Taecyeon/Jaebeom , slight Junsu/Junho
Rating: NC-16
Summary: Chansung's food takes a revenge on him.
Genre: Comedy/Crack

05. Hwang Chansung’s night of the living bananas

Chan Sung was an eater. And he was known for that throughout all Korea and further. He enjoyed stuffing himself with dried mangos, bananas, kimichi, chicken… well actually with everything. But mostly bananas since they were his favorite.

Chan Sung never cared about gaining weight or getting pimples from too much chocolate. He loved eating and he decided to listen only to himself when it comes to his favorite subject – food. He never really appreciated his meals either. He just started to feast on them as if they didn’t take a lot of his hyungs effort to make. He was a pig.

Chan Sung’s mother has always been telling him not to eat too much before going to bed for the sake of his metabolism. Apparently with eating this late at night is putting a lot of pressure on your body before going to bed and it makes it harder to decompose the ingredients. Even his hyungs had told him to ease on the food, for goodness sake! And although they kept nagging him about it, he still refused to listen.

Chan Sung woke up that morning feeling refreshed. He giggled to himself when he spotted Woo Young still sleeping soundly on the floor. Then an idea hit him. He put Woo Young’s thumb in his mouth grinning evilly. Then he tiptoed to Nich Khun’s room where his stuff was. He took his camera carefully not to wake the Thai prince up since he would surely stop him in his intention. After returning to the livingroom he whispered ‘black mail’ while snapping an embarrassing picture of his hyung. Oh, how he was glad that his mother had bought him this old Polaroid camera for his birthday. Once he had the picture in his hands he hid it (carefully when no one was looking) into his secret album with all of the other embarrassing pictures of every one of his hyungs. His nostrils spread as he smelled food. Throwing the album behind the washing machine he rushed into the kitchen only to find Jun Ho making breakfast while other junbrother was reading some book sipping his morning coffee in process. Jun Ho put an egg and bacon on the plate placing it on the table in front of Jun Su mumbling an ‘I made this especially for you hyung’ and blushing when he received a ‘thanks’ in return.

“Chan Sung would you like something to e- ?!!?!” before Jun Ho even finished the question, Chan Sung had already eaten half of Jun Su’s breakfast much to older boys disapproval. Jun Su opened his mouth to say something but Jun Ho beat him to it.

“Chan Sung, I am going to kill you!!” Jun Ho jumped on the magnae and Jun Su put a lot of effort to pull the baby off Chan Sung.

“Chan Sung you better run ‘because Jun Ho’s holding a knife.” Jun Su reasoned. And Chan Sung did. All the way to leader’s room that he now shared with the other giant. His plan was to steal Taec Yeon’s dried mangos since he was banned from the kitchen, at least until Jun Ho calmed down.

As he got closer he pressed his ear to the door unnecessarily only to be met with moans which turned to screaming. When Chan Sung was sure that Jae Beom and Taec Yeon were too mesmerized into their morning sex to notice him he silently opened the door. He sneaked inside and his eyes went wide. What he saw was unexplainable; there was no reasonable explanation for it. Two giant bananas, freaking living cannibal bananas were feasting on his favorite hyungs. He tried rubbing his eyes but the things were still standing at the same spot above Jay’s and Taek’s shared bed with human body pieces hanging from their big sickeningly yellow mouth. He started backing away but stepped onto some old plank on the floor which made a loud creaking sound bringing him their attention.

“Are you Chan Sung?” one of the bananas asked getting closer to the boy blood dripping down its yellow crust.

“Y-y-y- yes.” Chan answered taking a step back preparing to run.

“So you are the beast that ate my daughter? Oh, my precious little Nana, she would have turned two today.” The other banana spoke letting go of Jae Beom’s body making it fall to Taec Yeon’s ungracefully. As the other banana also started moving towards him, Chan Sung took it as a sign to run. He ran into the kitchen tripping occasionally like he would be if starring in a horror film. He grabbed the knife and just then noticed that the living bananas where nowhere in sight. He started searching the apartment for the rest of his undead hyungs but found no one. Walking in circles nervously while trying to think this through, he noticed a little note stuck to Nich Khun’s door. He rushed over in a few and took it off. It read:

Hwang Chan Sung, get inside the room.

I want you to play a game with me.

Banana-saw.

The magnae pushed the door open forcefully finding himself face to face with their TV. There was a little note just like the one before stuck on the video recorder on the shelf.

Play the tape that’s inside, you banana killer.

The giant obeyed. It was a video of Chan Sung’s yesterday’s snack – he was eating chips, ice-cream and… a banana. He widened his eyes. Was that the daughter they were telling him about?

“That’s right!” the tape got cut off and banana with the weirdest clown mask appeared on the TV. “That was my daughter and you were careless enough to kill her. Now, you are going to experience how it is to lose a member of your family.”

Chan Sung’s face fell at the sight in front of him. His four missing hyungs were all tied to some kind of crazy machines and they were all blindfolded.

“What do you want from me?” Chan Sung’s yell surprised the banana on the screen.

“Revenge.” It said and continued, “See you can only save one of your hyungs from a horrible death as stated in the movie ‘Saw’.”

“Which movie?” Chan Sung asked not really knowing what the film was about.

“You never heard of ‘Saw’?” banana asked bewildered.

“Nope.” Chan answered.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He assured.

“How many percent?” banana persisted.

“Hundred percent dude. I’m telling you I never saw ‘Saw’!” he growled irritated but then giggled stupidly at himself, “Hehe, I never saw-saw.”

“Aish.” Banana sighed holding her head. “Okay then, you can save two of your hyungs.”

“The rules are simple. See these machines. Each one of them will cause a traumatic death but in different ways. Now you just have to choose which of your hyungs survive by deciding between banana and mango. The choice is yours.” Banana laughed villain style.

“You stole my mango?” Chan Sung’s brows furrowed.

“Your whole stash of dried mangos to be exact.” Banana answered but what she didn’t know was that nobody, and I mean nobody (or in this case nothing) touches Chan Sung’s food. Not even mutant bananas.

Chan observed the screen for a couple of seconds before realizing that banana’s actual hideout was Jun Su’s room. He dashed to the room knocking the door down in process of coming inside. There he found the stupid banana and the clown (jigsaw) banana emptying his last bag of dried mangos. He wondered when had his favorite food become his worst enemy. This is where he drew the line. They. Did. Not. Just. Eat. His. Mangos.

“You are dead!! Dead, I tell ya!!” he jumped one banana biting its head of, literarily. But he forgot about the other mutant behind his back. Seeing the headless banana lying on the floor dead, the other banana bit Chan Sung hard ripping the flesh off his back. He could feel the poison rushing through his paralyzed body before his lifeless body hit the floor.

“ANIOOOO!!!!!!!!” magnae woke up from his nightmare on his living room floor safe and sound. After he kissed the floor thanking God he was home in real world he took a shower. Then he decided to take an embarrassing picture of Woo Young sleeping sucking on his thumb and placed the picture inside his album along with the others. He ran inside the kitchen finding junbrothers inside.

“Chan Sung would you like something to e- ?!!?!?” Jun Ho asked making Chan Sung’s mouth to open and the contents of Jun Su’s breakfast to fall from his mouth. That was the time when Chan Sung realized that his dream was coming true. He was re-living the day he’ll die.

His eyes still wide he got back to the living room looking around not wanting to face the deadly mutant bananas yet.

“Shit, no.” he cried falling to his knees. He didn’t want to re-live that nightmare. No, no way. He lied back on the floor where he usually slept and threw a blanked over his head. He pinched himself numerous times praying for this to be a dream and not some crazy twisted real life horror.

“Wake up Chan Sung, wake up. It’s only a bad dream.” He felt someone shaking him as he repeated his words of comfort. Chan Sung finally decided to peek from his hiding place only to find the scary cannibal banana standing in front of him.

“Good morning sunshine.” The living banana spoke, “Are you hungry? ‘Cause we’re having you for breakfast.” It laughed evilly at Chan Sung’s pale face.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Looks like boys finally had finally found a way to stop Chan Sung from eating all of their food. The idea struck them when they heard Chan Sung mumbling something about living cannibal bananas walking around the apartment in his sleep.

“I think he learned his lesson guys.” Taec Yeon said taking off his banana costume.

“Oh come on, Taek, scare him some more. For me. Please~” Jae Beom begged his boyfriend.

“Nuh-uh. He’s already hiding inside the closet shivering and screaming ‘stupid bananas just leave me alone’. I think that if we tortured him some more he could end up leaving the band for mental institution. And what do you think people will say about us if he starts going around the company saying ‘I see living bananas’, huh?”

“True.” Jay said facing the door of Chan Sung’s and Nich Khun’s room, “Hey Chan, want to eat bananas with us?” he shouted.

“GO AWAY YOU STUPID BANANA!! I KNOW YOU ATE MY HYUNG AND YOU STOLE HIS VOICE! GO AWAY, AND LEAVE ME TO DIE HUNGRY!!”

“Well at least he won’t invade the kitchen for the next few days.” Nich Khun shrugged turning away.

Chan Sung’s mother has always been telling him not to eat too much before going to bed. Even his hyungs had told him to ease on the food but he never listened. And now he was shitting himself inside the closet covering his ears praying not to be eaten by some kind of alive banana mutant.



~the live journal 4~

Horvejkul Nichkhun's new winking machine

Fourth story in 2pm chronicles which is simply a collection of seven short stories. Each one of them revolving around one of 2pm members.

Title: Horvejkul Nichkhun's new winking machine
Pairing: ot7, Taecyeon/Jaebeom
Rating: NC-14ish
Summary: Nichkhun is sick and tired of winking all the time so he comes up with a project that is most definitely going to help him get rid of his problem.
Genre: Comedy/Crack


04. Horvejkul Nichkhun’s new winking machine

Nich Khun was tired. Tired of JYP trying to turn him into a winking robot. Heck, he was a human, a freaking human being and he had his rights, right? There were times when Nich Khun regretted not reading through the contract JYP gave him before actually signing it. And this was one of those times. How can a man blink one million (if not more) times a day only Nich Khun knew. Once he even considered writing a book about it but gave up after only the second sentence. Wink to the old lady in the corner. Now wink to those school girls that are after you. Wink to the writers of Idol Army. Wink to JYP Hyung, just for fun. Wink to the cat that climbed the tree. He just couldn’t take it anymore. But much to JYP’s oblivion, Nich Khun was an evil genius in disguise. Back home he won a science fair building a ‘razor blazer’ which was so powerful that it made a ship sink. And not some ordinary ship, it was cruiser which could take up more than eight thousand people. So lying in bed one night Nich Khun thought of a plan, and a brilliant one that is.

On a Saturday morning 2pm members were woken up by a noise of hammer hitting against metal surface. Confused about who the hell managed to make so much noise at 5am, they got up and listened carefully, to human’s ear, unbearable sounds.

“Did you hear that Taek?” Jae Beom poked his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Of course I heard it; the freaking sound would wake the dead.” Taec Yeon yawned turning to face Jae Beom.

“What if it’s the burglar?!” Jay hissed.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go check it and you stay here.” Taec Yeon surrendered getting up.

“Hey, who do you think I am? A scared girl?” Jay frowned.

“Well, you’re more than welcome to join me in catching this so called burglar.” Taec Yeon said and waited for Jay to say something rude back but it never came.

“You coming or what?” He turned to their leadja to see him standing near their shared bed fidgeting his feet.

“I- I umm… I don’t want to.” Jay looked at Taek somewhat angry while trying to get his words out right.

“Okay Jay. You be a good girlfriend now and hide under the bed and let me to the business.” Taek joked and even thought his remark made Jae Beom angry he obeyed anyways.

Once inside the bed and buried safely under his sheets Jae Beom whispered. “You wait and see Ok Taec Yeon. Someday soon this girlfriend is going to get back at you.”

Exiting the room quietly, Taec Yeon sneaked into the kitchen only to find Chan Sung eating already not really worried about the possibility that someone had broken into their home.

“Can’t you hear that ear-throbbing sound or are you just so stupid not to care about the fact that it might be a burglar?” Taec Yeon screamed at Chan trying not to raise his voice and be heard by whoever was making that sound.

“Huh, what? A burglar?” magnae widened his eyes.

“Hush! Be quiet! Grab that broom and come with me.” The older giant ordered grabbing himself a frying pan. After all, safety is the most important thing. Chan Sung followed Taec Yeon as they walked towards the source of that constant banging.

“What if he killed Nich Khun?” Chan Sun yelped when they found out that it was coming from Thai prince’s room.

“Shh!” Taec Yeon put a finger over his mouth signaling Chan Sung to shut up.

With one of his hands Taek pushed the door open so they were now able to peek inside. The giants were both so shocked with the scene before them. Whoever’s been making that sound was now standing his back to them, holding Nich Khun’s head in his hands while attaching some wires to it.

“NOW!!!” Taec Yeon screamed and he and Chan Sung dashed into the room hitting the man before them with the objects the now possessed, making Nich Khun’s head to fall from his hold.

“Ouch, ouch! OUCH!!” the man on the floor cried and only after hearing his voice had Taec Yeon and Chan Sung stopped beating him up realizing that the man was actually Nich Khun himself.

“Khun?! But your head-” Chan Sung shuttered turning to gaze at the head that had fallen to the floor.

“Oh, Chan Sung could you be more stupid? That’s my project over there.” He pointed at the same head. “I’m making a winking machine to wink instead of me.”

The taller boys started laughing, loudly.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” Taek exclaimed.

“Laugh all you want, but this guy here is not winking ever again!” he stated laughing like a villain from some comic book.

“O-kay. Khun you’re starting to scare me.” Taec Yeon confessed. They have never seen the calm Thai prince acting this… stupid?

Later that day when Khun had finally finished his project he was demanding to hold up a presentation for JYP. Khun was satisfied with his work. The face on the machine looked exactly like his own. He had put a lot of work and patience in this thing and it’ll finally pay off.

“Hey Khun!” called Jay from his seat in JYPE’s conference room. “You know that you could get into Guinness book of records with your invention?” the short man asked.

“Wow, thanks Jay.” Nich Khun was impressed with Jay’s behavior today. He was somehow good, maybe even too good. There had to be a catch, Khun thought just as Jae Beom opened his mouth again.

“I’m serious. You they might even give you an award for making them insert a whole new section under the name of ‘The stupidest…’ in their book.” Jae Beom laughed at glaring Khun. And Nich Khun knew it; he knew Jay was up to no good.

“Says a man who can’t tell the difference between a rabbit and a bunny.” Was his respond which made Jay choke on his water that he was drinking at the moment.

This time Taec Yeon decided to protect his boyfriends pride by saying, “Good one Khun, did you think of that by yourself? Awww and it took you so long. Fortunately it was worth it. Guinness has the stupidest longest awaited comment of the year.” He clapped.

Nich Khun turned around offended while the rest of 2pm continued to make fun of him. Khun was so grateful when Jin Young hyung walked into the room a few minutes later because his ‘loyal’ band members finally shut up about how crazy he was.

“So Nich Khun, what did you want to tell me?” JYP asked concerned.

“I’ve got something to show you.” He grabbed the head (read: winking machine) and showed it to JYP who looked at it with great interest. Nich Khun noticed Jun Su, Jun Ho and Woo Young giggling in the corner whispering something to one another. He sighed hoping JYP would accept this machine.

“This is what I like to call ‘the Nich Khun head’. It’s a well designed winking machine that will if you allow it from now on wink instead of me. Let me show you how it works.” Nich Khun held up the machine right before JYP’s face and Jin Young just nodded.

“Come on, let us see!” Woo Young yelled from behind making the other laugh at Khun some more.

“Oh, I’ll show you.” Nich Khun gritted his teeth pressing the button at the very back of the winking machine’s head.

“Hello, I’m Wink Khun and I’ll wink for you today.” The invention spoke making the other stare in amazement while Nich Khun grinned proudly. Then the machine winked perfectly. One time, two times, three times and JYP felt a liquid on his face.

“Approved! Approved! We shall test it in the next episode of Idol Army and see what the viewers think!” He said immediately bringing a hand to his face and wiping some of the liquid which happened to be blood off his face. That’s when he fainted from a major nosebleed. The story of JYP’s blood loss due to Khun’s winks is really an interesting story but we’ll have to save it for some other time. Nich Khun was satisfied so he stuck out his tongue to his band mates who were still looking at the machine, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Next day was a premier, you could say. The winking machine was going to be showed at one of the most popular idol shows. Nich Kun was sooo excited and he couldn’t help but thinking, my winking days are over! Oh, yeah!

After Boom had done the introduction and their guests – a bunch of high scholars showed up and Nich Khun was proposed to wink for them, ‘the Nich Khun head’ was brought out on the stage.

“Guys, meet my new friend,” Khun said bringing the invention closer to his fans. “the Nich Khun head.”

After seeing what invention could do, the fans were so amazed that they wanted more and more, and more. Even before show ended the winking machine broke down due to winking for fifty thousand times during the last hour. And that was at least ten thousand times less than Nich Khun usually winks. His invention had gone to waste and Nich Khun was devastated about it. After all, now he’s going to be the one to suffer ten thousand more winks.

“NOOOOO!!” Nich Khun yelled pulling at his hair when the realization hit him.

At that point Nich Khun stopped hoping that his suffering will ever stop. It was hopeless, anyways. He was forever and ever going to be the group’s winker.